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But there’s an even more direct route to creating a feeling of connection and closeness.

We need to look around us with new eyes, new assumptions, and new skills.This contract is a mutual, voluntary commitment to engage in activities that are likely to build closeness and create romantic love, as well as lay the groundwork for a lasting bond, for at least 3-6 months.Epstein’s sample contract reads, in part: We, the undersigned, knowing and believing that love is a desirable state, knowing and believing that we are potentially a good match for each other, knowing and believing that we are each currently available to be in an exclusive relationship with each other, and knowing and believing we are capable of learning and growing together, hereby agree as follows: We share the mutually beneficial goal of knowing each other deeply, expressing our thoughts and feelings to each other, learning to satisfy each other’s needs and wants, learning to resolve any conflicts that might arise between us, working to overcome any inhibitions that might block us from love, and learning to love each other with a love that is genuine and ever-growing. If we have reached our goal, we will mark that date with celebration.Whether or not there’s an instant spark, research has proven that given the right environment, attraction, romantic love and closeness can develop over time.The Love Contract Psychologist Epstein actually suggests that compatible would-be partners enter into what he calls a “love contract” to help produce in-love brain chemistry.

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Research shows that doing something novel, risky or even frightening together helps people bond.

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